Why is it that when I type things out on your itty bitty keyboard with my big fat thumbs, autocorrect will choose the wrong word approximately 86% of the time, AND YET, when I use that swype feature where I just drag my finger around in a lazy and altogether unintelligible manner, you somehow READ MY FLIPPING MIND?
Sincerely,
Pudgy Phalanges
In my eyes, you’re a lot better than your Windows counterpart. But for the love of everything that keeps me sane, why is it that every time I bring you back into focus you’re located in a different position on my monitor? Why do you torment me so? I’m sure nobody else has this problem.
Sincerely,
Perplexed
Unless you’re implementing something that can save me money (which I sincerely doubt), I am upset that you feel it’s ok to shut down my power for eight hours tomorrow. As a college student with less-than-stellar cooking skills, I have many, many things in the freezer which will not handle this summer heat well. Also, no internet is sucky too. Guess I’ll be spending my day in the DP.
Sincerely,
A very irritated Neil
Dear Waterloo Black team,
Please practice smiling for the camera before the world finals start this weekend, ok? I don’t want people in Europe or Asia to think that we’re all incapable of smiling. They might not want to come here anymore. I don’t know why you look so phlegmatic, but if you’re going for the bad-ass look, you’re probably in the wrong programming competition.
:) <——like this, see? Or even better, show some teeth.
:D
Ok, I can’t do teeth but you get the idea.
Sincerely,
Neil
“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father…Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.”
Matthew 24:36,42
Please do some research next time, before you make the rest of us Christians look bad with your crazy cult paranoia.
Kthankxbai.
Screw you. I like to spam the heck out of people’s dashboards once a month and then lurk in silence. Schedules are for the lamesauce.
Suck it,
Neil
You have been more of a pain in the butt to me than any virus ever has. Stop popping up and running scans when I don’t want you to. I never even installed you, how the heck did you get on my computer in the first place?
Sincerely,
Every PC user ever.
Please don’t ever end. I need more Sean Bean in my life.
Sincerely,
Neil
My favorite part of you winning the Grammy for Album of the Year is that http://whoisarcadefire.tumblr.com/ now exists. So many angry Americans.
Love it.
Cheers,
Proud Canadian
You suck. I finally finished changing all of my passwords, which I would never have had to do if you hadn’t let the least trustworthy people on the internet get a hold of them. As if I didn’t hate you enough already.
Sincerely,
One very angry dude
We are far too young and clever
